What if?

I’m sure “What if?” isn’t a unique question. Everyone wonders from time to time what would’ve happened if they were to take that job, go on that trip, say yes or no to an opportunity. Or, another angle: I’m the result of all the previous choices I made, all of the previous “Me”s, who considered and lost sleep and paced around the room and cried and laughed.

However, in some of the darker moments, a different kind of a “What if?” question crawls back to my thoughts. What if I were to grow up without my disability? Would I recognize that version of me? Which opportunities did I miss, and which new ones I gained, in this different version of life? The answers are my special pity party, yes. But when I feel better, I often find they can be helpful at pointing out the problems still left to be solved.