Category: Situations
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The Moment Before
I started meditating back in 2020. My then-psychologist thought it would be good for my overthinking and anxiety. I re-downloaded a meditation app I gave up on and sat on the floor. It was weird, but I kept going. I’m still nowhere near being a lifestyle guru or even just a relatively calm person. But…
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Cleaning
Lately, keeping my tiny apartment clean has become more and more important to me. I guess it’s because that’s an easy way to pretend that the new week ahead, otherwise somewhat frightening, is a new beginning. I try to find the time every weekend to organize something and make my space feel a little bit…
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Hugs
I’ve been thinking a lot about hugs lately. A month ago or so, Dad stopped by to visit me. We talked for a while over coffee. I confessed that I was upset and worried. He hugged me before he left. I immediately felt better. He didn’t change the reason I was blue (pun intended) –…
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Take A Walk
Turns out its much easier to lose the ability to do things than to gain it. So to avoid this kind of loss, Mom and I take a walk.
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Position
The longer I stay at my childhood home, the more details pop and need to be taken care of. I realized I needed another grabbing bar outside of my shower. Not that my shower didn’t have any to begin with: it was designed specifically to meet my needs… When I was six years old and…
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Tension
Tension has always played a big role in my life. My muscle tension is higher than normal: it’s just part of having Cerebral Palsy. Every physical therapy or Pilates session eventually comes down to this – locating the tension and relaxing it, allowing more movement and freedom to my otherwise stiff right arm and leg.…
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Represented
I love TV. It’s a somewhat one-way love: TV doesn’t always love me back, or at least it feels that way. Ever since I started my complicated and unexpected journey in university, finding TV characters with disabilities (then critic and analyze them, and present the result to anyone who’ll listen) became a weird habit of…
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Putting It Together
Every new year or new semester, I find myself trying to figure out my life again. How do I put everything together one more time? Do I do anything differently? What did I enjoy more or less, and what should get my attention? What can I leave behind? To be honest, I still don’t know…
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A Fine Line
Between this blog, two thesis ideas and actually living my life outside of the internet or university, I’ve been writing and talking a lot about my disability lately. The more I keep on that, the more I feel as if there’s a very fine line between all of it being just enough – and realizing…
DisBlueCircle 