Category: No Solution

  • Tension

    Tension has always played a big role in my life. My muscle tension is higher than normal: it’s just part of having Cerebral Palsy. Every physical therapy or Pilates session eventually comes down to this – locating the tension and relaxing it, allowing more movement and freedom to my otherwise stiff right arm and leg.…

  • Putting It Together

    Every new year or new semester, I find myself trying to figure out my life again. How do I put everything together one more time? Do I do anything differently? What did I enjoy more or less, and what should get my attention? What can I leave behind? To be honest, I still don’t know…

  • A Fine Line

    Between this blog, two thesis ideas and actually living my life outside of the internet or university, I’ve been writing and talking a lot about my disability lately. The more I keep on that, the more I feel as if there’s a very fine line between all of it being just enough – and realizing…

  • Food

    I haven’t posted anything in quite a while. I had a hard time coming up with topics. I was making a sandwich this afternoon when I realized the perfect topic is right in front of me: food. I tend to make a mess when I eat food that doesn’t fit naturally into bites. Also, since…

  • Bars & Chairs

    In light of the new year approaching, here are a few thoughts about what it takes for me to drink. To celebrate my return from Texas, I went out with friends. I love doing that – it’s a good way to catch up and let loose a little. However, as the universe has it, one…

  • Nights

    Sometimes I have long days for no particular reason. I lay awake in bed, just thinking and taking some time to myself, considering the past day. That ritual clears my head. Most of the days it feels like a waste of time: I didn’t do anything special. I’m just tired, time to admit it and…

  • Mirrors

    I have a problem seeing myself in videos. They’re so “alive”, so close to reality, they capture the weirdness of my moves so well. It’s not the right thing to say, but I get embarrassed and self aware of my disability when I watch a video. Mirrors are usually less of a problem: if you…

  • Coffee

    One of my bad habits is getting coffee outside. I know it’s expensive; I know the disposable cups are bad; and yet I do it anyway. Something about walking with a hot cup in my hand just makes me feel much more like other people. Like I’m busy, like I’m going somewhere, like I can…

  • Sheets

    My mom once commented that a person becomes independent when he or she washes their own underwear, “and I haven’t washed yours in a while.” Well, she’s right – between attending boarding school and living alone, studying at the university, I did learn to do my own laundry. And after I take them out of…