DisBlueCircle

  • Wheelchair Access

    I don’t use a wheelchair. I can walk, and it’s pretty much the only exercise I’m doing. The only place in which I shamelessly ask for a wheelchair is the airport. Airports are usually big and require a lot of walk, focus and calm. I also can’t stand in the long lines leading to every step of the checking and security process.

    So they wheel me around, and it’s always weird. I flew with my aunt to New York a while ago, and one of the only images I remember from the airport itself is me sitting, being driven around, while she walks with a trolley and a suitcase in each hand. We’re moving past the different lines. And at some point I realize: the next time I’ll get up from the chair, it’s to move to the one on the plane. We’re about to fly!

  • Coffee

    One of my bad habits is getting coffee outside. I know it’s expensive; I know the disposable cups are bad; and yet I do it anyway. Something about walking with a hot cup in my hand just makes me feel much more like other people. Like I’m busy, like I’m going somewhere, like I can multitask.

    An especially notorious version of this habit is getting coffee while waiting for the train. Not only that the coffee at the train stations is ridiculously expensive, it also creates a new problem for me. I only have one hand that I can use to hold things. It’s either holding the coffee or getting a good grip and getting on the train. And so I wait, hoping someone will have a free hand to help me. Or I just take a few big sips, right before the doors open.

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  • Sheets

    My mom once commented that a person becomes independent when he or she washes their own underwear, “and I haven’t washed yours in a while.” Well, she’s right – between attending boarding school and living alone, studying at the university, I did learn to do my own laundry. And after I take them out of the drawer, I try to put my bed sheets on my bed again.

    Three corners are usually pretty easy to place. It’s the fourth one, the closest to the room corner, that I can’t quite reach. There’s no place to stand on the other side of the bed and pull it down. Every single time I find myself lying on the bed, arms and legs to the side like a starfish, basically begging the fourth one to stay put. I still haven’t found a more efficient way.

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  • Rain

    I love rain in certain situations. When sitting at home with a hot cup of tea, rain is great. Walking in the rain, on the other hand, is terrible. I can’t hold an umbrella with my right hand. Its position is wrong, so I end up not protecting anything. I can’t hold it with my left hand, since then I won’t be able to hold my phone or protect myself if I fall.

    There’s really no clever, heartwarming solution. Sometimes I end up getting wet in the rain. I try to remember to grab my jacket or coat before I embark on any long journey. If I’m lucky, I also remember to put on my boots, and my socks don’t get wet. But that’s it. I’m just walking, step by step, trying not to slip, while feeling the raindrops on my clothes.

  • Hold My Beer

    Two years ago, I was nearing the end of my first year at the university. I wanted to go to the university’s annual festival, “Student’s Day”, but I was scared. Public gatherings are difficult for me, mostly because the combination of being 158cm tall and very physically unstable is a winning one. People tend to not see me, and then accidentally push me. Also, two hearing aids aren’t the perfect sound system for live shows.

    Some of my friends rose up to the challenge. I remember bits from the night: a friend saving my favorite t-shirt from getting ruined because someone spilled beer next to me; checking my phone while trying to adjust my hearing aids to separate the artist from the crowd; and how, after looking for one all evening, I finally got a cold beer. From the back row, I drank it and enjoyed the noise.

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  • Crosswalks

    I really don’t enjoy walking, as it involves moving my legs and carrying my own body weight (plus the occasional backpack) around, while trying to avoid obstacles of many kinds. But, in lack of a driving license, I find myself walking to bus and train stations. This involves using crosswalks. I love the concept of crosswalks, trying to create some much needed order in the chaos of the streets, but the execution is terrifying to me.

    It’s the actual crossing that’s stressful. I’m afraid to fall, or that the light will turn red while I’m still walking. Here in the U.S, it’s even more concerning, as the lights also indicate how much time is left to cross. I take a breath, then remember my mom. As a kid, after a visit to Tel Aviv, I shared the crosswalk fear with my mom. She thought for a second, then said: “Well, you know they time it so that old people can cross too, right? So you can walk as slowly as you want.”

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  • The Shower

    When I walked into my new room at one of the residence halls, I was delighted to discover the best shower ever built on planet earth. Not only was it ridiculously big and had grabbing bars at the right height, it had a folding seat. Everything seemed perfect. When I managed to get the water running, I was sure that all my problems were suddenly solved.

    But then cold water hit me. I thought it was just that it was late at night, or just that the building was half empty. A week passed, and I decided to submit a maintenance request. Today, two nice guys knocked on my door, one carrying a toolbox. They rotated the tap handle to the other direction. In an instance, hot water flooded straight through.

  • Soup

    I went to a boarding school in high school. Its dining hall had stairs in it, so I had to develop a system to get my food down from the stations to the tables. It took some time, but I settled on holding one very full plate with my left hand, while getting down the stairs very very slowly.

    It worked relatively well (no broken plates or bones) until winter arrived. The problem is pretty straight forward: because they’re liquid based, soups don’t fit on a plate. A separate bowl is necessary. My system fell apart in front of the unexpected challenge of onion soup. Then, one winter lunch, one of my friends got it down the stairs for me.

  • Calm

    I’ve always been one stressed human being (and as of recently, I’m also a stressed blue circle!). Some of this stress really isn’t my fault: a part of my medical condition is that my muscles are way more tense than normal. However, I’m the first to admit that most of the tension is definitely the result of my lifestyle choices. Approximately two years ago, I started to meditate using an app.

    As I sit on my bed, sometime late during the day, I try to find calm inside what feels like an endless train of thoughts. If and when I succeed, it’s like a weight has been taken off my shoulders. It’s my birthday today, so my wish is to have more of these clear-headed moments. I know it’s (mostly) up to me. And with that in mind, I’m turning 23.

  • Elevators

    I hate stairs. I was never great at the activity of using them, they always feel like an unnecessary risk, and they aren’t fun. I’ve spent much time in my life waiting for elevators to arrive. I’ve also learned to listen very well while taking an elevator: does the door squeak? Is it well balanced? I always look for the sticker stating the last routine checkup. I’ve also gotten pretty good at locating elevators.

    A few days ago I was in a tour and couldn’t find an elevator. So I asked, and not only did I get an answer, but I got escorted to it. The nice receptionist pushed the button for me, went with me to the right floor, and made sure I met with my group again. Let me tell you, it’s much better waiting for an elevator with someone by your side.

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